When I think about closeness and distance then first of all the thought of difficulty to hold these two in balance comes to my mind. It is that I see a challenge on both ends. With the closeness it can sometimes inauthentically be too close too quickly, especially if I am not with myself and my senses properly. With the distance it can be, that I really fully retreat out to such an extreme that I let go of others or myself completely.
Experiences from my childhood come to mind. A longing for attention and the immediate disinterest in it as soon as I got what I wanted.
If I could change something it would be to create closeness more beautifully and to know at the same time when closeness is enough, and to know also that closeness can remain even though I set my boundaries with it.
Another learning is to see and feel the different forms of closeness (and distance) and to be able to live them according to the individual encounter and connection.
These aspects of closeness are in my awareness: Physical, spiritual, emotional, through being together, living together, thinking about each other, spending time, doing favors, being of help and service, offering support, writing to each other, connecting in the heart, being blood related, in listening and speaking…
And these aspects of distance are in my awareness: In space, inside, anger, depression, punishment, disgust, fear, ignorance, trust, chosen separation, solidarity, disconnect, intoxication, hastiness, age, status…
Healthy examples of closeness and distance seem to be accompanied by a developed sense of self. Being comfortable being loved and held, living with a deep innate understanding of the love that belongs to all. A knowingness of love’s free flowing form and its abundance; and also the okayness with it not being so readily available in moments and times. An ability to see that love has many forms of expression and that each one of us chooses these forms of expression individually, freely and that we have to dance with each other, sometimes change the song, the dance and who we dance with.
It is in closeness and distance that we are human with other humans. It is ever learning and sensing and meeting – self and other.